


Falling for you

by Trash_Planet (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas has Issues, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Episode: s09e03 I'm No Angel, Fallen Castiel, Homeless Castiel, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, M/M, Season 9, This is like an extract of a journal from when Cas was human, based off of a 1975 song, cas centric, season 9 fucked me up, the 1975
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:24:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Trash_Planet
Summary: Based off of the song "FallingForYou" by the 1975!





	

It stung... It stung like a fresh cut. Strung like a nettle leaf brushing past my skin. Stung like a slap across the cheek. 

Stinging. That's a funny word for a feeling yet it is so exact. So to the point. So correct. 

I've faced many things. From heavenly wars and quests to falling. Falling from heaven. Falling down. Falling in Love...

I first realised I was in love when I laid eyes on his soul. So bright. So hurt. So lost 

The first time I said those words out loud was when I was by myself

"I'm in love"

I said it out loud to the mirror. Of course that wasn't the first time I'd ever said it. I said it when even though it would pain me greatly, I took Sam and Dean back to save their parents. I said it when through the gazes I cast at him. I said it when I sacrificed everything. I say it to myself every day.

"I love him  
I love him  
I love him"

I say it when the air bites at my cheeks and any other exposed piece of skin not shielded by my dirty, scruffy, torn clothes. 

I love him but I know he'd never feel the same for me. As he has expressed many times. He is interested in girls and girls only. 

But that doesn't stop me. Because I love him. It was always him and it will always be him.

I've sacrificed everything I've ever had for him.

For him...

Always for him.

It stung that I've done everything for him only to be repaid by cast back out. 

How could I be so stupid? He will always choose Sammy over me. Because I am just a tool to them.

I should have seen it coming.

I was so close to having what I wanted. I was so close to being family I almost believed I could be. I was so close to having a roof over my head surrounded by the love of my life.

But no

_Don't you see me now?_  
_I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you,_  
___Don't you need me?_  
___I, I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you,  
_

__Yes. I think I'm falling for you__

_I don't wanna be your friend, _  
 _I wanna kiss your neck _____


End file.
